A NOT SO SHORT STORY ABOUT SMOKING!!

Posted by Carol King on July 08, 2017 in Men, On Change, Smoking, Women,

January 20th 2014 I decided to quit smoking. And after 10 months of yo yo-ing I managed to put down the fags for good. It was by far the most difficult change I have ever made. But I made the choice and I made it alone. I did not change because someone wanted me to, I did so because I wanted to. 

So to those of you out there trying to get someone in your life to change, I say this...

You cannot.....

 Let me say that again...YOU CANNOT, annoy, bully, shame or pester someone into quitting smoking, drinking, gaining weight or any other so called bad habit. And you are absolutely not helping them in any way shape or fashion. 

When you are constantly on at someone to change you are not serving them, you are serving your own selfish need. You are trying to control THEM! You are trying to get them to live the way YOU think they should. Did GOD go on vacation and leave you in charge of the world? You were not put here to make others live the way you think they should. 

You were put here to become the best person YOU can be and leave me to become the best person I can be.

Now you may say, oh I only keep on at them because I care about them. No! That is not caring. That is controlling! Caring is trusting them to make their own decisions. I am not saying you cannot encourage someone to make healthy changes but when that "encouragement" becomes repetitive, constant and relentless then you are no longer serving them, you are serving yourself.

When someone changes themselves to please you, two things tend to happen.

1. They resent you for "making" them do something they were not yet ready or wanting to do. 
2. The change does not last because they did not do it for themselves, when they were committed and ready. 

They did it, quite frankly, to get you to shut the fuck up.

Do you think that person has not noticed that they need to lose weight, so they need you to constantly throw it in their face?

Do you think when I was coughing so much that my chest hurt that I did not know I needed to quit smoking?

Well let me enlighten you. I did know! And the person you are trying to annoy or shame into changing knows also.

SO YOU NEED TO STOP IT!! Stop it NOW!

Anyone who knows me well knows that my favorite quote of all time comes from Mahatma Gandhi, he said....Be The Change You Want To See In The World.

So instead of stomping through the world trying to force others to do this, that or the other, Look instead at yourself, change yourself become the thing that you think others should become and then maybe, just maybe, you may inspire someone to change themselves. 

But also understand that if I choose to be an overweight, alcoholic chain smoker for the rest of my life, that is MY choice to make.

Now Go forth and change YOU.

Love Ya

Carol xx

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